Funke My $*xy Secretary - Episode 15 - 18

 Episode 15

Me: Lalaski what’s wrong na
Lalaski : Don’t worry you’re going today, you’re no longer useful to us o
I was surprised because earlier funke said am not getting out of here alive , which kind palava be this…. While I was praying inside my mind I was bundled again and delivered to my sitting room and I also notice they took someone along with them, who could that be well I hope its not my daughter…..
**Evening still blindfolded**
Later I managed to shout and Susan came to my rescue and it was then I realized it was my wife that was kidnapped ……
**phone rings **
Me: **picks it ** hello
Lalaski: Na me o lalaski tell the governor say we have his daughter….
Me: But…. **call drops**
**wondering** governor’s daughter ke, me wey no even sabi senator pikin talkless of governor daughter abi Na which kind yawa be this o…..

**phone rings**
My dad: Hello son
Me: Whose your son? #angry
Dad: There is something I really need to tell you about temi
Me: Which is?
Dad: She’s the daughter of…..
Me: Of the governor ?
Dad: How did you know… **call drops**
Chai my life just went from frypan directly to the fire ….
Yawa don gas, what I can do guess it’s all left to me now…
Now I started looking for a direct link to the governor but still nothing came through, then an idea popped to my head that if truly lalaski was working for the governor there should be a place in his house where he’ll be keeping his number…..
**inside lalaski’s room**
After searching for an hour plus I saw a small phone more of like a secret phone so I switched it on and saw the governor’s no alas so I decided to dial the no with the phone for a quick response…
Me: Dials no…,
Governor: Lalaski wherever you are just know you are dead, you think can play games with me abi…..
Me: ** Drops call**
after hearing I got scared again , hope am not transferring lalaski problem unto myself so I decided to man up and face whatever was coming my way but before I could do anything some guys came into the house and gave me the worst beating of my life and bundled me into to a sack , it was on the way i realized they were about to kill me…….

Episode 16
Om the getting to the location where I was about to be killed I felt a hot slap on my cheek still being blindfolded and my mouth sealed, it was when I was un blindfolded that I realized that it was the governor that slapped me….
Governor: This is not lalaski , return him and get me the real lalaski *in an angry tone*

So while they were trying to bundle me back into the vehicle I made some groans which made the governor realized that I wanted to say something so he ordered one of his men to realse me….
Me: Sir your daughter has been kidnapped by lalaski
Governor: **laughs** which daughter, we all know that I only gave birth to two lovely guys
Me: Sir am serious o, Lalaski was so sure about it
Governor : Why should I believe you?
Me: Am her husband
Governor: Guys take him away before I lose my temper
Suddenly one of the men brought out a gun and pointed it towards the governor saying that does he think lalaski is stupid, this got me scared so lalaski had an inside mole …. Wonders shall never end while I was busy thinking about this i heard a gunshot only to wake up in an hospital bandaged and cuffed to the bed like a criminal.
Governor : so mr man tell who you really are because this whole drama of my daughter is not making sense….
Suddenly a woman barged in crying…
Strange woman: where is she, i need to see my daughter…
Governor : shut up woman, i told you we don’t have any daughter just our son segun
Strange Woman: we have a daughter o the doctor lied to us……
**phone rings**
Governor: hello
Lalaski: it seems you think I’m joking, well i have stepped up my game, i want you to meet someone
Segun: daddy please help me out, i don’t want to die here
Governor: if you touch my son……
Lalaski: shut up mr man and prepare a sum

Episode 17
**in the governor’s house**
Temi: **confused**
My mom: **confused**
Commissioner : **confused**
Governor : **confused**
Governor’s wife (mrs alao) : **not confused**

Mrs alao: i told you, she didn’t die but you won’t believe me
Temi: what’s going on dear
Me : **speechless **
Governor : cso place a top level arrest warrant on lalaski
Mrs alao: i want my own daughter and my son o
Me: here she is ma’am
Mrs alao: (running towards her and at the same time crying) **hugs her**
Temi: still confused, babe whats going on
Me: ask your so called dad to explain, because I don’t really understand and his in the best position to explain
Governor : Commissioner you better shed light on the issue on ground or else…..
**10 masked guys barged in**
They took the governor and the so called body guards ran away, Nigerians will always be nigerians…. I was not even scared because this won’t be the first or second time i would be kidnapped, i even thought they were coming for me…..

**2days later**
Still we haven’t heard anything from the people that kidnapped the governor, the matter started getting worse because lalaski and funke thought we were lieing not until they saw it on tv….

Am just happy that none of my family member is involved but still temi wants to know what her father is hiding from her….

**Commissioner’s house**
Temi was holding a knife and swears to kill herself if he doesn’t explain whats going on to her, instead he just laughed and said if you kill yourself the only thing I’ll regret is the money i spent on you, am not your father and i don’t who he his but it seems it’s the governor so get the hell out of my house….

**back to my apartment **
Temi walked in crying, just had to comfort her and asked what happened and she explained everything to me so we decided to do dna test to proof if it’s true….. It was while we were doing the test in the governor’s hospital a black van came and dropped a body in front of the hospital and drove away, when the nurses and doctors moved towards it, they saw the body of the governor on the floor, whether dead or alive they don’t know…..

Episode 18

The doctors rushed the governor into the theater for an emergency operation, i and temi were outside shocked and confused and before we knew what was happening the press were already around…. I just wish say the way Nigerians press respond to emergency is the way Nigerian police force does….

Mehn Nigerians press can be so annoying and persistent with all the questions they’re asking, before you even try to answer one question another one don surface…

To cut the long story short the police force arrived late to control the press but before they came back the doctor that did the dna test for us has confirmed that temi is really the daughter of the governor, we were still on this when another doctor came out and broke the news to the press that the governor is dead…
Immediately Temi heard she busted into tears now the focus of the press were on her wondering what was her connection with the governor, i just don’t know why some doctors can’t keep their mouth shut, na so the doctor say “She just realized that the governor is her dad”

Come see different questions from the press, the police force were unable to control them because they never expected a press so large as that then one of the press asked a stupid question “Did The governor Abandon You Or What? “…. I was angry with the question and before I knew what was going on i shouted at the man but the man was being so stupid, the idiotic fellow that claimed to be part of the press asked the question again which increased the level of my anger and before i knew what was happening i gave him a hard punch as in a punch that can bring down a whole building……

The next thing i saw was the man on the floor lying down in his own pool of blood while i was handcuffed and taken to the station…